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This guy gets pulled over for speeding. The cop approaches the window and the

guy pleads with the cop not to give him a ticket because he's late for work and

if he's late one more time he'll lose his job.



"Well, what do you do?" the cop asks.



"I'm a rectum stretcher" the guy replies.



"A rectum stretcher?! What the h311 is that?" the cop asks.



"I stretch rectums by inserting a single finger, then two, then my fist, then

both fists, and I stretch and stretch the rectum until it's 6 foot wide."



"What the h311 do you do with a 6 foot @$$hole???" the cop asks.



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"Give him a fs©king radar gun and stick him on a bridge"


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Sounds like sucide by taser to me.





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